Hello, Coach: Your work comes very highly recommended. I find myself in desperate need of a young, dumb jock who loves to show off his body – but I also have a pipe smoking fetish and I would need him to serve in that aspect as well. Given what I’ve heard about your skills, though, I shouldn’t think that would pose any difficulty. If we’re in agreement, I can wire half your fee upon commission and the rest upon completion. I look forward to hearing back from you. ~T.